Stories to Watch: 8/23/11

Have no idea what to eat tonight. So that probably means burgers. Can’t go wrong with burgers. Now here’s the news…

That east coast earthquake earlier today? Yeah, that was Obama’s fault.

Bank of America looks to be collapsing. While total failure would no doubt be a big hit to the economy, it couldn’t happen to a more deserving bunch.

Rick Perry is now officially at war with Rick Perry. Which is good. Someone’s got to take him down, he’s the world’s most successful serial killer.

Like so many really great Republican economic ideas, raising the eligibility age for Medicare would cost more money than it saves.

Steve Kornacki has a way to rid the world of a high-profile Facebook troll: have her actually run for president. A Palin campaign, according to him, would be an “epic, humiliating defeat, the sort of disaster that might once and for all convince the political and media worlds that the empress has no clothes.”

A former Clinton speechwriter urges President Obama to drop the post-partisan crap. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And yes. If you need evidence that it’s not working, here ya go.

Meanwhile, Democrats gear up for a decidedly partisan fight on the payroll tax. Note to the White House: lead on this one or get the fuck out of the way.

And here’s what the rhetoric in that fight should look like.

Finally, John Boehner is a shameless liar.